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I need to get off my phone. Don’t you?

We’ve written newsletters about time-management, resisting distractions, mindfulness as a productivity tool… but the PHONE. That palm-sized thousand-dollar computer that I treat like an anatomical appendage while I cook dinner, exercise, and will frantically turn back to the house to retrieve if forgotten, even if already several miles away. That darn phone! For many of us, the phone is the biggest speed bump we have on any road to accomplishing anything.

Many studies focus on the impact screentime has on children and adolescent's physical and emotional health. But smartphones are also straining our eyes and our necks. The phones are disrupting our emotional peace and our sleep too. The difference between us and kids, though, is that they often have forced limits on their phone use- whether because of school, parents, or sports policies. Except the rare times I have to set my phone on airplane mode due to flight rules, there’s nothing besides basic etiquette that mandates I put it down.

According to a Pew Research study on tech trends, 91% of Americans now own a smartphone, many of us using these devices instead of land lines or even broadband at home. We spend an average of 4 hours and 30 minutes a day on our phones, picking them up, on average, 144 times.

You want to give yourself a real shock? Go into phone settings, find your average usage, and then run it through an online screentime calculator. For me, based on my age and last week’s usage I’ll have spent 7.8 years scrolling by the end of my life. That’s about the same amount of time it takes to become a veterinarian.

New approaches that really work

If the effectiveness of parameters like screentime limits and new years’ resolutions are diminishing for you (as they are for me), here are a couple of new strategies to try:

• When you’re sleeping, charge your phone someplace else: I started with the hardest one, the thing I’ve been most resistant to in all my years owning a smartphone (“What if there’s an emergency!” “What if my teenage driver needs me!” “But my phone is my alarm!”). Scientists are now zeroing in on the impacts of these little machines sitting on our nightstands. They are starting to understand how blue light disrupts our ability to produce melatonin, which is the hormone that regulates sleep. If putting it completely out of the room makes you nervous, some experts say that placing your phone even one yardstick away at night would improve your sleep quality. Scan your bedroom. Do you have an outlet at least three feet away from the bed? Put your charger there and put your ringer on if you’re worried about emergency calls but turn off all other notifications. Here’s how:
  • Open “settings”
  • Select “do not disturb”
  • Choose any exceptions (contacts or groups)
• Hide your apps: Out of sight, out of mind! Try changing your screen items to greyscale to reduce their attractiveness and, in turn, the temptation to look at them. You can also tuck your most distracting apps in a folder on your home screen. The extra step it will take to find that app might just keep you from using it.

Think of something that can be your regular go-to alternative activity

When it comes to anything indulgent or addictive, taking a mindful pause is a good way to trick your brain out of doing it. If you’ve been trying to avoid candy but are hit with a craving, take a 10-minute walk around the block and you might not need it anymore. Phones are like candy in this way. “Instead of looking at Instagram right now, I’m going to fix a cup of tea and drink it while looking out the window.” You could also take a walk around the office or refill your water bottle and drink the whole thing.

Here is a list of other things that can take up to 10-15 minutes to squash an urge:

• Planks: one low and one high
• Write a meal plan for the weekend
• Read three pages of a book
• Water the plants
• Sketch a drawing of something you love
• Meditate
• Journal

Take control of the way you use your phone

Remember that YOU are the boss of your phone, not the reverse. That’s not to say you can never use it recreationally but try regarding social media use with a specific intent each time you log on. There’s a type of walking meditation, rooted in the Japanese tradition of “forest bathing” that involves walking slowly and bringing all your attention to the leaves, noticing the colors and the way they move. Can we apply that deep mindfulness to our social media use? Log on with a clear purpose — maybe it is to search for specific interior design photographs that will inform your kitchen reorganization. Or maybe you pick it up because you are going to look only at friends’ photos and write nice comments under their captions. Everything else, scroll right past.

Finally….

Take care of yourself. In this moment, the world is a loud place and not a single one of us can carry it all. Your phone can be the first line of defense in setting boundaries. You don’t have to answer texts or emails all day long. You don’t need to check social media or the news every hour. Give yourself a break because you sincerely deserve it.