Home    Training    Contact Us   

Mentoring Blog


  • 0 Leading with Emotional Intelligence

    By now we all know about the importance of Emotional Intelligence in the workplace (also known as Emotional Quotient or EQ). How you master your emotions at the office governs the perception that your peers and supervisors have of you. In fact, how you master your emotions can establish your reputation and may dictate how far you will progress within the organization. Leading with emotional intelligence goes far beyond just keeping emotions in check when stressful and contentious events occur. Managing with EQ requires that leaders not only master self-awareness and self-management skills, but they must also use those skills to help guide and develop EQ in the professionals they manage. The following are some examples of how emotionally intelligent leaders can get the most productivity from their teams based on the work of psychologist Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.: Mindful self-awareness. Effective leaders are acutely aware of their emotional strength and weaknesses. They are able to take a humble view of their own strong points and shortcomings and regularly identify and chronicle certain triggers and behaviors and where they are rooted. This allows them to consistently check-in to their emotions therefore creating a higher level of self-awareness to practice and fine tune. Systematic self-regulation. EQ leaders have learned to know when, where and in what manner to appropriately express their emotions. Not only have they mastered the art of cool, calm and collected, but they hold themselves accountable and can acknowledge their own missteps therefore giving them the ability to understand that mistakes can and do happen with anyone. They listen with an open mind and do not pre-judge or stereotype when discussing an issue or problem. Savvy social skills. Charismatic leaders have exceptional social skills. They make it a point to continually make new connections at all levels throughout an organization and work to bridge communication gaps. They are also open to feedback – both positive and undesirable. They are generous with their praise and support and have studied conflict resolution skills to deftly diffuse potential argumentative situations. Emotional empathy. Emotional intelligent leaders – through their own elevated sense of self-awareness are able to understand what influences their employees’ behaviors, emotions and decisions. They also have the ability to put themselves in another one’s shoes. They are perceptive to the nuances of body language and respond accordingly. They champion and support the development of others and welcome everyone’s unique perspective. Deep-rooted motivation. Motivated leaders know their why. They have defined goals for themselves that align with their core value system. They hold themselves to high standards and have the ability to rally and champion the organization’s mission with great passion. They also practice optimism and find the best in all members of the team. Leading with emotional intelligence provides all members of a team with a safe environment for innovative collaboration and creates a culture of positivity and productivity. It also earns and fosters respect at all levels. ASK A MENTOR Leading a team successfully – and gaining the respect and cooperation of each individual member – takes an emotionally intelligent leader who can successfully navigate and promote emotional intelligence within their team. It also takes practice to develop those skills on a personal level and to promote those skills in others. The next time you meet with your mentoring partner, ask them how they employ these skills and what ideas and strategies they have for you to take your own emotional intelligence to the next level. Here are a few questions to start: What are some practices that heighten your self-awareness? How do you take stock/inventory in your strengths and weakness both personally as well as within those you manage? How do you determine triggers and roots of behavior? What strategies do you employ to keep calm in situations? Deep breaths? Revisiting a situation/challenge at a later time? In what ways do you hold yourself and others accountable? Timelines? Status reports? How do you respond to negative feedback? What are some effective networking strategies? How do you meet and build connections at all levels? What measures/conversations do you have with others to understand their point of view? What are some nuances to deciphering body language? How do you respond to those cues? What is your motivation? Your why? How does your current position align with your core values? How can I adjust alignment in mine?    

  • 0 A Career of Kindness

    Here at The Training Connection, we talk about the impact and value of mentoring – a LOT.  This is the heart of what we do, of course!  On a regular basis, mentors share with us how much they are gaining from their mentoring partnerships, often reporting they themselves feel they have benefitted more from the relationship than their mentees.  How can that be?   The word "Mentor” is analogous to the word "Parent” in that it is both a noun and a verb.  To mentor another is an act of generosity, and highly altruistic.  So, what do these mentors know that others don’t?  We can all agree that coworkers who are kind and generous are more likeable than those who are not, but does kindness equate to professional success? Can being kind and generous be a prescription for career advancement?     There is a plethora of research and articles that conclude that kindness and generosity of spirit can positively transform the workplace as well as give those who practice these virtues a competitive edge in the following ways:   Kindness Helps Us Work With Others Whether you are new to your organization or a seasoned veteran, you’re likely going to work with many different personalities; co-workers, managers, supervisors, contractors, etc. The truth is, you aren’t always in sync with all of the people you interact with on a daily basis, but in a professional setting, you need to find ways to not only be cordial, but also work as a team to accomplish shared goals and objectives.  The first step is always kindness.  It costs nothing and even if the recipient of your generosity of spirit is not receptive, others will be inspired by the effort – and over time your continued kindness will be seen as a valuable strength.   Kindness Draws Others In You can’t expect to be best friends with everyone, but you can still develop real, solid connections with coworkers and teammates. When you are kind and show you care about your peers and colleagues, it motivates them to make time for you when it comes to collaborating on a complex task, or simply lending a hand when you are feeling overwhelmed and need help.  For example, in a previous position, some coworkers and I donated leave to a fellow coworker who was facing a medical crisis and just didn’t have accrued leave.  The colleague was very well-like, in addition to being a conscientious and valuable team member.    Kindness is Contagious You can choose not to sink to an unkind person’s level. Although it can be your first defensive reaction – it won’t pay off in the long run. People who demonstrate emotional intelligence elevate their reputations by being assertively kind. This reduces traction for a negative person to keep pushing against. In addition, when others witness acts of kindness, they also get a surge of well-being and will often feel encouraged to perform an act of kindness of their own. From a professional perspective: would you rather work with or promote someone who is disengaged or someone who is thoughtfully responsive?   Kindness and generosity aren’t just good for individual success, they’re also beneficial to an organization:   Kindness Improves Creativity Respectful engagement with individuals and teams enhances creativity – the engine of innovation. Respectful engagement, a fancy way of saying kindness, is conveying presence, communicating affirmation, effective listening and supportive communication.  All foster a more positive work environment and a higher sense of worth and creativity!     Kindness Fosters Loyalty According to a recent U.K. study, eight in ten workers would not accept a position, even if it paid more, if it meant working with people with whom they did not get along.  The fact is, salary/compensation is pretty far down the list in terms of factors keeping employees loyal.  The vast majority, according to the research, prioritize good relationships over concerns about money. If your boss, teammates or company acknowledged when you were out sick, lost a loved one or celebrated a life-event (e.g., the birth of a baby, wedding, birthday, etc.), then you know first-hand the impact kindness can have on your desire to stay.   By being intentionally kind and generous, you inherently bring out positive qualities in others. Like ripples on the pond, kindness from one person can expand and positively affect others around you. This is one of the many reasons that mentors are so very remarkable – they not only recognize this concept, but also practice on a daily basis. They continuously plant the seeds for trees from which they might never enjoy the fruit – but they enjoy being kind and generous anyway.    

  • 0 Mindfulness in Mentoring—an Opportunity for Shared Exploration and Discovery

    The practice of mindfulness has been around for centuries, dating back to 500 B.C. as an integral element in Buddhist teachings.  It has been woven into many cultures and philosophies since then, and made its way into American considerations in 1979 via the efforts of Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.   Over the years, Kabat-Zinn and others have helped mindfulness grow in popularity, partly by playing down the religious and philosophical elements that often turn off prospective practitioners, and focused on its potential to help people reduce stress and increase focus on everyday tasks.   A quick internet search generates a plethora of books and articles on the subject.  They all center on the same core premise that practicing mindfulness involves learning how to be more aware of what is going on around you in the present moment.  And a key element in every approach is making an intentional effort to be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations without passing judgement or making commentary.    Many resources teach you to implement mindfulness techniques into your daily life, and how the practice can improve physical and emotional health as well as improve relations with friends, family, and co-workers.  Some resources delve into diet, exercise, and leveraging everyday opportunities to practice awareness.   So how do you choose which path is right for you?  Start with your own search and tug on the threads that catch your eye.  Are you interested in the roots of mindfulness as they relate to Buddhist teachings and the practice of Vipassana and Metta meditation?  Or do you just want to learn a few exercises that can help reduce stress and improve focus?  Perhaps you are interested in recent studies conducted that show the science behind the potential benefits of practicing mindfulness.       Learning more about practicing mindfulness can benefit mentoring partnerships in at least two ways.  First, it can help partners discover ways to be more in tune with their mentoring moments, and more aware and present for each other during their meetings.  Second, partners can explore the topic together, identifying things about practicing mindfulness that they share an interest or curiosity in.