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As a leader, you’re probably someone who wants to be really supportive and see your people succeed. You’d like to see them perform at a high level, take on new and interesting projects, overcome challenges, etc. What a great intention! I’m going to guess you see yourself as a real integral part of that success. So, what does this end up looking like? Usually, it means that a well-intentioned leader ends up jumping in to fix the problem the moment they sense a pause or issue cropping up along their employee’s path. Which is so genuinely nice of them. Nice leaders are ADDICTED to being helpful. But the practical effect of this is that the leader cuts off the employee’s opportunity to actually THINK on their own or to actually TRY SOMETHING. People have become leaders usually because they were great at their job as sole contributors. They did the “thing” really well and they got promoted because of it. So they can solve problems really well and work really efficiently. Those qualities are great as an employee, but once you become a leader, these skills should honestly be the LAST ones you use in your role. YOU don’t need to learn these skills anymore—your PEOPLE DO. If you want to really spur growth in your employees, the skill you need to cultivate is holding BACK all of that great efficiency and problem-solving skills you have in service of your people. POWERFUL leaders are rigorously, intentionally UNHELPFUL. Want to become a powerful leader? Here are some tips to help: Quit thinking for them.Quit solving for them. When an employee comes seeking an answer to a question, start by saying: “Happy to help, but first: tell me, what do you think the answer is?” (You might hear back “I don’t know” and all this means is they haven’t had a chance to think about it yet. All you say back is “That’s okay. Try something. Take your best guess.”) Most of the time they have an idea—they just aren’t 100% SURE. Sometimes you have to really slow it down and allow them to try before jumping in to “help.” In moments like this, I don’t really care if they know the exact right answer. I want to find out how MUCH they know and HOW they’re thinking through it. It’s in the safe struggle that people build their proverbial muscles. Let them get it WRONG!Encourage them to SWING! Let them fail SAFELY! Often, they don’t fail at all. They prove to themselves that they know more than they think they do. They build confidence. There’s so much more available to them in the process of TRYING than there is in just getting the answer. Break your helpfulness addiction. Recognizing that you have this need to be helpful (or simply to be liked sometimes) and the corresponding tendency to jump in and fix problems is the first step toward becoming a more impactful leader.Here’s how you can work on breaking this addiction: Self-Awareness:Begin by observing your own behavior. Whenever you notice yourself about to take over a task or give an answer--take note. Did they really get stuck? Was it "just quicker" for you to do it? Keeping a log of these instances over a few days at work will help to understand the patterns and triggers that prompt your helpfulness. Set Boundaries:Define clear boundaries for YOURSELF for when and how you will engage in problem-solving. This is an internal process--not one you'll share with them. Creating a policy for yourself will give you guidance on when it's okay to intervene and when you lovingly hold back in service of their growth. This can help you resist the urge to step in prematurely. Ask Guiding Questions:Focus on asking way more than telling in your guidance. Use open-ended questions that prompt deeper, broader thinking to help them connect the dots rather than providing answers. For example: “What are the potential solutions you’ve considered?” “How might you approach this problem differently?” “What resources or information do you need to move forward?” Using these strategies not only encourages the natural growth of your direct reports, but also drives a fundamental shift in your effectiveness as a leader, moving you from a simple problem-solver to a facilitator of their success. The end result? A more capable, confident, and self-reliant team that thrives under your leadership. You have the power in you to be the most impactful leader your employees ever experience—start by being unhelpful.
0 Reenergizing Yourself to Meet Your End-of-Year Goals
At the beginning of the year, everyone gets excited about setting new goals and planning for the future. We get out our calendars or notebooks and eagerly jot down our objectives, visualizing the New Year’s possibilities. However, as the months roll on, life’s demands start to crowd our once-clear canvas. Emails pile up and personal responsibilities increase, leaving our goals sidelined. With four months left to go until the end of the year, staying focused on your goals from the beginning of the year can be hard. But don’t worry! Here are some easy steps to help you get back on track and finish the year strong. Reflect on Your Achievements Define Your Current Position and Goals Start by assessing what you have accomplished thus far. Reflecting on your progress helps you see where you stand in relation to your goals. Take a moment to quantify your achievements. Specificity is key—define your goals in measurable terms. For example, instead of a vague goal such as “become more successful,” pinpoint what success looks like for you. Is it a certain job title, a specific financial milestone, or a newly acquired skill? Action Steps Review your goals: List the goals you set at the beginning of the year. Measure progress: Note the milestones you’ve reached and the tasks you’ve completed. Identify gaps: Highlight areas where progress has stalled or where you need to put in more effort. Reassess Your Remaining Goals Set Clear Deadlines If you’ve ever procrastinated, you know how crucial deadlines are. Without a clear end date, goals remain abstract ideas. Establishing deadlines creates urgency and helps prioritize tasks. Action Steps Set deadlines: Assign specific dates to each goal. Break down tasks: Divide your goals into smaller, more manageable tasks with their own deadlines. Monitor progress: Check your progress against these deadlines. Align Your Goals With Your “Why” Connect to Your Values Your goals need to resonate with your personal values and vision for life. If a goal doesn’t align with your core values, it won’t motivate or sustain you through challenges. Action Steps Clarify your values: Write down your core values and life vision. Evaluate goals: Check each goal against your values and adjust them if necessary. Find your why: Articulate why each goal matters to you. Prioritize Your Goals Focus on Achievable Objectives It’s good to dream big, but you should also set realistic goals. Focus on what you can achieve by the end of the year. Action Steps Prioritize goals: Rank your goals based on importance and feasibility. Plan actions: Outline the steps you need to take to achieve each prioritized goal. Stay flexible: Be ready to adjust your plans as circumstances change. Get Excited About Your Goals Again Revisit Your Motivations Sometimes all it takes to reignite your passion is to revisit the initial excitement and motivations behind your goals. Sometimes, you need to remind yourself why you were excited about your goals in the first place. Action Steps Visualize success: Spend time imagining the successful completion of your goals. Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate every small achievement. Stay inspired: Surround yourself with motivational quotes, success stories, or a vision board. Seek Support and Accountability Engage Your Network Accountability partners or support groups can provide the encouragement and accountability you need to stay on track. Action Steps Find a partner: Connect with a friend or colleague with similar goals. Join a group: Participate in professional development groups or online forums. Share your goals: Update your accountability partner or group on your progress. Review and Adjust Your Plan Stay Flexible Things change, and that’s OK. Your goals may need to evolve. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your plan ensures that your goals remain relevant and attainable. Action Steps Schedule monthly check-ins: Set aside time to review your monthly goals and progress. Adjust as needed: Modify your goals or action plans based on your progress and changing circumstances. Stay positive: Maintain a positive attitude and focus on what you can achieve rather than what you haven’t. Final Thoughts Reenergizing yourself to meet your end-of-year goals requires reflection, reassessment, and a renewed commitment to your objectives. By defining your current position, setting clear deadlines, aligning your goals with your core values, prioritizing achievable tasks, reigniting your passion, seeking support, and staying adaptable, you can recapture your enthusiasm from the beginning of the year. Remember, it’s never too late to refocus and achieve your goals with energy and determination. Keep these steps in mind and let the excitement you felt at the start of the year help you reach your goals by the end of the year!
A few months ago we wrote about annual reviews, and how to make them more meaningful, useful, and less stressful. One of the tools we discussed for the reviewer, was keeping a journal or logbook on the good points and the “needs coaching” aspects of the reviewee. Today we’re going to talk about journaling for the reviewee, and journaling in general. I have found it to be a game changer in my career, both as a worker bee, as a manager… and as a regular ole living, breathing human person! I keep three different journals: Journal # 1: … is motivational. I start my day with a personal journal. I write down what I plan to accomplish at work and in my personal life. I also do some daily affirmation things. Daily affirmation exercises are often considered a bit cheesy, and yes, Saturday Night Live did some hilarious sketches poking fun at the daily affirmation stuff. Stuart Smiley always closed the bit with, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” When I was first coached on this, I didn’t take it very seriously. But, as part of the training, we had accountability partners and whether I liked it or not, journaling was a requirement. We checked that each of us was journaling and what we were journaling (although we were allowed to keep portions of our journals private). We discussed its effects, and how this daily activity evolved over time. This was an ongoing training for management, sales, & operations personnel. With few exceptions in the group I worked with, we grew to embrace that morning journal exercise. Journal # 1 is an everyday thing for me, it has become a habit. I keep it short; I keep it positive; I refuse to make it redundant, with one exception. Here is what I wrote this morning, June 19, 2024: Keep moving… get up and walk around. Look outside!! I’m excited to see the team at A.C.M.E. Flour & Feed (fake name!!) today. Airplanes are the bane of my existence, but they are a tool of my trade… get over it and get on with it. 54 families*. I’m glad to be here. *Note: There are 55 employees in my division. 54 of them are not me. They make their living at this company, and they need to be considered in my daily decisions. “Glad to be here,” is something I write down every day. I first heard it at a keynote speech from Blue Angels Pilot, John “Gucci” Foley. Gucci is one of my all-time favorite speakers. “Glad to be here,” is something all Blue Angel pilots close their dialog with when debriefing a mission. I found that simple tag line inspirational. “You’ve gotta be ‘Glad to be here!’ And, if you’re not… you’ve gotta work on being somewhere else! If you start your day expecting things to be great and believe that you’ll be glad to be wherever you are, your chances of that becoming your reality increase exponentially. Journal #2: … is biographical. I usually put entries in this journal at the end of a day. When related to our workday, I believe in documenting successes and challenges. Spending most of my career in sales, this is sort of like a call report, but about yourself, not your customers. It can be effective in any vocation. Capturing milestones, accomplishments, challenges, & cool stuff, and how you navigated these events, is something everyone should consider. It is especially important if you’re starting out or starting anew. If you did something great, write it down… and how you did it. If you did something dumb, write it down… and what you learned from it. If you experienced a policy enforcement, or had a conversation that you disagreed with, but were afraid to speak up in the moment… write it down! Because you might forget. Work life and personal life get busy, a lot of us spenda lot of our day just wading through the mud and the mire just trying to get through it all. Have you ever gone through a challenging stage in your career or personal life, and looked back and wondered how you got through it? Do you think it might be important to remember how you overcame the obstacle? Journaling helps! The simple act of writing it down helps commit it to memory. I rarely go back and look at these journals from a research standpoint, because if you write it down, it sticks with you. This recap isn’t necessarily an everyday exercise, but it can be. Where I find it most important is in documenting success, wins, and cool stuff. Our memory banks only hold so much information, and for most people, our memories can be kinda mean to us. So many successful athletes and coaches will tell you that they remember their losses and heartbreaks much more vividly than their championships. A good way to rewire that memory bank is to write those wins down. You got a project done ahead of time; write it down! You brought up an idea that everyone loved, you made a presentation in front of a large group, no one fell asleep, and everyone applauded when you were finished… write it down!! You got married, and you really like this person… write it down! Alright, that might be extreme, someone will probably have photos. And that leads us to… Journal #3: … is a performance management timeline. I started doing this a few years after I became a people manager. Early in this management role, there was a lot of disfunction on some of the teams I worked with. I spent as much time with our Human Resources department and writing letters of reprimand, as I did performing my day-to-day job. Performance reviews were all about “where you need to improve” vs. “what you are doing well.” There needed to be a change, and one of my mentors gave me the idea of a performance management timeline. A simple Excel spreadsheet that documents events, milestones, and yes, cool stuff. (You MUST write down the cool stuff!) Nobody is perfect, but I also believe no one is all bad either. As a manager, I focused on documenting coaching opportunities, and slaps on the back and “way to goes!” Currently, I have the good fortune of working with a true team, a group of people who are fantastic, passionate, self-starting, professionals. They require very little coaching, and almost no supervision. When review time came, I had limited data to discuss, so I told them to keep their own timeline journal. Writing down their wins, issues, concerns, and ideas is a requirement and needs to be presented and discussed twice a year. It has worked very well. As a reviewee, it might be helpful to your supervisor to remind them of the good work you’ve done, your accomplishments, your areas that needed improvement (in your opinion), and how you addressed them. Your manager might be doing it already, or they might not. If they are, a second data source based on your personal experience is still going to be helpful. If this exercise feels like you’re just giving yourself a pat on the back, good. A final note: … it’s not bragging. It's journaling. It’s a good way to start your day and a record of good things you do. It also helps you remember what you’re capable of when things aren’t going so great. Write it down!!
Last month, I was commiserating with a few friends about the exhaustive nature of the end of the school year. Ceremonies, class parties, volunteering commitments, exam schedules, teacher’s gifts, coaches’ gifts and more. My friend said, “You know they’re calling it Maycember now.” What she meant was, the month of May has now become as chaotic as December. And for some (including myself) the professional workload is heavy and, at times, urgent- as the summer is pressing and there’s a sense that things need to be completed before it arrives. Recognizing priorities During times when personal obligations and professional responsibilities collide at full speed, it can feel impossible to tease out the priorities. One day I locked in on a writing project for hours and missed the room parent’s last call for contributions to my son’s 5th grade teacher’s gift. Early the next morning, I frantically waited in the parking lot for the grocery store to open, bought a gift card for the teacher, and fled to the school to tuck my tardy present into the class gift basket. Scurrying around over this task all morning left me behind in finalizing a set of presentation slides I had promised to send to a colleague first thing that same day. So suddenly that task became urgent too. Panic makes it hard to see straight. I couldn’t take a thoughtful pause to consider how reordering my approach might have made things easier. The span of time when I was sitting in my car near tears in the parking lot waiting for the store to open, might have been better spent at home, completing the presentations slides. Stopping for one second might have also helped me remember that the teacher basket was not scheduled to be gifted until lunch or at the end of the day. Writing it all down When the multiple balls we have in the air seem like they’re falling all at once, stop, take a breath, and make yourself take time to write it out clearly. Taking this moment to pause and consider each item on your plate in isolation might reveal where you do have extra time or where a deadline is merely self-imposed or reactionary. Here are a couple of strategies you might try: MoSCoW prioritization method The MoSCoW method is a straightforward approach to prioritizing the tasks on your list. This simple strategy works best when the tasks are all yours and not really things that can be delegated. It involves going through each item on your list and assigning them a value: M- Must do. S- Should do. C- Could do. W- Won’t do. Once everything is assigned, delete all the W tasks. Then go through and re-order: M tasks first, S tasks next, C tasks last- or maybe save them for another time! The Eisenhower Matrix Another strategy is The Eisenhower matrix – a planning tool to help you distinguish between important and urgent tasks as a means for optimizing your productivity. Urgency refers to how quickly a task needs to be completed. Importance relates a task to your goals or values. The Eisenhower matrix divides your tasks into four quadrants: Urgent + Important (emergencies) Not urgent, but important (planning) Urgent (interruptions) Neither urgent nor important (trivial activities) Taking time to consider every request or task that crosses your desk can ensure you are putting your greatest effort into things that are timely and meaningful, and set aside time wasters. Implementing the matrix Once you’ve filled the four quadrants of the matrix, look at each category and make your plan. The truth is: Managing your priority list efficiently and productively will help you avoid taking on things that don’t relate to your overall goals and ambitions. Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything on your plate, try one of these strategies and see if they work for you.
As I was researching subjects for this month’s newsletter, I found myself in a deep state of writer’s block. It seemed that any subject I felt strongly enough about to commit a couple of hours, and 1,200 to 1,500 words to, had been used before. I write these newsletters in hopes of sharing insightful nuggets that I have learned over the course of my 40 plus years in the workforce. I’ve written about leadership, perseverance, overcoming obstacles and other subjects along those lines. Diving deeper into those waters is something that I will continue to do, but I wanted a different ocean experience for this newsletter. I wanted something bigger, and something to challenge my style, but I had a hard time finding that “something.” So, eventually, I did what I never like doing, yet knowing full well that I should; I asked for help. I told my wife that I couldn’t come up with anything that I thought was exciting or inspirational, and I asked her if she had any ideas. She replied to me with a question, “Why does it have to be exciting, or inspirational? Why not use a subject from your blog page, everyday day life navigation stuff, like just being nice?” This is what I said in response, “Okay. Thanks, Baby. I’ll look at something like that.” But this is what I thought, “But I WANT to be exciting and inspirational!” Nothing was written that day. Nothing exciting, nothing inspirational. The next day I called my mentor, let’s just call her Kathy, for the sake of this newsletter, and I said, “Hey Kathy, I’m stumped. I want to write something a little different, but I want to keep it exciting and inspirational.” It was as if my wife called ahead and spoke to Kathy, because after very little back and forth exchange, spit balling ideas, my mentor suggested that I, “… revisit some of your blog page subjects. How about writing something about the power of simply being nice?” Even though it was a phone conversation, I could see the smile on her face, as that light bulb flicked on over her head. Two out of two people, whose opinions I sought out, suggested that I write something about “being nice”. So here we are, and my initial question as I sat in front of my computer screen was: Do we really need to be reminded to be nice? My immediate reply to my own question was, “Yes. Yes, we do.” I see it almost every single day. When I’m not writing exciting and inspirational newsletters, I’m a traveling salesperson. I travel by plane just about every week, almost always making a connection, so I’m in (at a minimum) four airports in a typical work week. As a society, airports do not bring out the best in us. When things go exactly as planned: flights on time, the weather is nice and turbulence free, and the seat next to you is empty, it is still stressful. I’ve been doing it every week for over 25 years, and it’s still stressful! We could point out all the stressors, but those points are not pertinent to THE point. We, as passengers, have almost NO CONTROL over the things that create the stress and anxiety when flying. And, for the most part, the people on the ground managing our flying experience have no control either. I can assure you, the gate agent who just informed us that our flight was cancelled, due to a mechanical issue, was not the last mechanic to work on that 737 bound for San Antonio. She is not in any way trying to prevent us from attending an important meeting or stop us from seeing our beloved but cranky Aunt Edna. In fact, she is trying to get us there. So, it is in our best interest to just be nice. On a Thursday in December, I was standing in line for over 45 minutes at the United Airlines help desk in Chicago’s O’Hare airport. Several flights were cancelled due to weather. I watched person after person curse out the staff at the help desk. I’m pretty sure the good folks at the help desk did not create the weather, I doubt very seriously that they even forecasted the weather, yet here they were taking all the blame. Just a thought: The one person who can help you get to where you want to go is standing in front of you AT THE HELP DESK! Be nice. I didn’t get to go home that Thursday… well, you know…weather! But I did get to go home Friday morning in a first-class seat. Just because I was nice. It doesn’t always work out that way, but it did on that day. I see problems at the airport, at the rental car counter, at the front desk of hotels, even at the grocery store… all the time. What I have never seen, is an anger reaction that solved one of those problems. This being nice strategy doesn’t just apply to travel. We need to employ the strategy in the workplace, at school, at home, and throughout our daily lives. We are all “influencers.” We always have been, in some way or another, and not through TikTok or Instagram, it’s in our daily behaviors. We see some paraphrased version of this quote, all the time: “We can’t control the actions of others, but we can control how we react.” It is about as basic as any common sense, self-help, enlightenment kind of quote there is, and yet, it can be difficult to adhere to. When someone at work is being difficult, whether it’s a boss, a coworker, or a client it is hard to just let it go, to let it just roll of our shoulder, but you need to find a way. Being nice and being pleasant in our response doesn’t weaken us. It makes us stronger. If someone is knowingly and willfully pushing you, pushing your buttons, to get a reaction, responding with kindness, in whatever form you put it in, shows that you’re not going compromise a value that is yours. You’re not avoiding confrontation, or backing down, it’s actually the opposite. Think about that: By reacting to someone’s aggression by being nice, you are imposing your will into the situation. You’re rewriting the script and steering an ugly or uncomfortable setting out of their darkness and into your light. That’s power, that’s leadership, and that’s influence. It takes practice. You need to employ proactive exercises to make “just being nice” part of your daily life. Compliment a friend or a co-worker…I have found that everyone appreciates a nice comment about their shoes! Buy a cup of coffee for a stranger. Finish a conversation with, “I appreciate you”, instead of a simple “thanks.” You might be surprised to find out how good it feels to make someone else feel better when there is nothing in it for you. (But there is something in it for you!) When being treated aggressively or unfairly, practice a calm kindness in your reply, “Okay Aunt Edna, I understand that you’re upset. I can see that you were passionate about my arrival on a Thursday. I can’t help that, because of the weather in Chicago, but I bet if we talk calmly with each other, we can figure out a way to make the best of it and still have a great visit.” Being nice won’t always put you in a first-class seat, but it will always make you look first class. At first, just being nice might seem cheesy and maybe even a little weak, but it’s not! Actually, it is the opposite - it’s quite powerful. In fact, just being nice, is exciting and inspirational.
Brainstorming about what it takes to move to the next level might invoke important leadership themes- giving and receiving feedback, leveraging your networks, positive non-verbal communication, and so on. One critical attribute of an effective leader is having the ability to influence or persuade. In fact, influencing is an efficient way to lead- even if you are not yet in a position of authority. Influence, to be clear, is NOT the same thing as exerting power over someone. In fact, to effectively influence requires leaning into behaviors that are quite the opposite of being pushy. Yes, the best influencers are confident, but they also demonstrate a genuine sense of humility, openness to different perspectives, and an emphasis on what truly matters- even when things are going off the rails. The trouble is, influence can be hard to define because it encompasses all of the many leadership competencies. At its core, influence is a multi-disciplinary collaboration tool. What’s the Use of Being Influential? Being influential makes it a lot easier to get things done. People look to the influencers to define the bottom line and keep things on track. And know this: when the things you say are convincing to others, it’s also a testament to the way your peers think of you and, even more broadly, a good indicator of your ability to lead. Those who are in positions of power are more likely to consider influencers as candidates for leadership. Developing influence takes some effort across a variety of categories, so let us help you get started: Step One: Build Your Credibility Remember that thing about not being pushy? It would be impossible for anyone to develop a true breadth of influence without first assuring that they have built credibility and trustworthiness with their peers and colleagues. Without sound relational skills such as being an active listener and thoughtfully considering outside perspectives, attempting to solve a problem or nudge a team toward a conclusion might come off as too aggressive or even defensive. Showing humility is one way to assure others of your integrity. Here’s how to do that: Show respect for other perspectives. Let people who think differently have the floor too and demonstrate deep listening by saying things like “that’s a good point” or “can you explain that one part again?” And, for goodness sake’s, don’t interrupt!! Give credit where credit it is due. If someone else has done something positive for the cause, make sure to let others know. Don’t steal their thunder. Admit your mistakes: Be accountable. When you take responsibility for your mistakes, people can often be pretty understanding. Digging in on something tends to have the opposite effect. Step Two: Show Your Competence When working in a group, especially in cases where different viewpoints might be slowing down the process, don’t simply rely on your words to convince teammates you know what you’re talking about. Find opportunities to go the extra mile by gathering relevant knowledge or finding pertinent examples. If you are involved in a formal mentoring relationship, you might even share strategies you’ve learned from your mentor. For especially tough issues, try contacting a situational mentor for guidance on an issue in your team’s workload. Step Three: Be Captivating Work on your storytelling skills. While it’s true that using direct language is most effective, providing imagery when addressing a problem can be a way to show your calm, strategic thinking. Stay away from any squabbles and keep bringing the group back to the task of finding the solution. It sounds strange, but it also helps to be likable by smiling and making eye contact. Search for commonalities and use that as your launch pad instead of getting stuck where people don’t agree. Some tips for being a good storyteller: Practice ahead of time- don’t wing it. Plan a good opener- maybe it’s a good example, or a quote, or a joke. Be clear and concise- you don’t have to slam the point over their heads but get to the end quickly. Use interesting body language- gestures and well-timed pauses show your warmth and sincerity. Step Four: Find Your Allies Your biggest supporters might automatically come from the groups you work with on a daily basis. But it’s also important to make sure you have a supervisor, a peer or even a mentor who is in your corner to help you think through problems or come to your aid if needed. Sometimes those relationships take more effort because it might be up to you to set up those meetings to assure you are engaging with those people regularly and maintaining those relationships. Step Five: Help Others Find Their Voice Be generous. You might be comfortable giving your opinion and admitting mistakes, but those around you won’t always have such confidence. When you see passion in another teammate, ask them to speak or celebrate their wins. You don’t have to make it awkward, just say you simply wanted to make sure no one missed it.
0 Take Yourself to the Next Level by Discovering and Developing Your Strengths
Do you have the opportunity to do what you do best every day? The chances are that you do not. Some of our talents and strengths go untapped. We tend to devote more time addressing our shortcomings than developing our strengths. It has become all too easy to fall into a weakness-fixing model. Throughout our education and career, too much attention is paid to our weaknesses, to our “opportunities for personal growth,” or whatever popular euphemisms we want to use. We may have noticed from time to time that it’s our bosses, managers, coworkers, teachers and even parents who seem to be experts at spotting weaknesses. In fact, most of them consider it their responsibility to point out our flaws and help us correct them. We ourselves have become experts on our own weaknesses and spend our lives trying to repair them while our strengths lie hidden or ignored. The research, however, is clear: we grow and develop by emphasizing our strengths rather than beating ourselves up over our weaknesses. Understanding our strengths can help us flourish by focusing more on what we naturally do best and by increasing our potential. The goal is to maximize our strengths and minimize our weaknesses. Here are three benefits of focusing on your strengths, discovering who you really are, and becoming who you are meant to be: Benefits of Improving Personal Strengths Builds Self-Awareness When developing a new skill, you will find out more about yourself. You will discover your abilities and strengths and learn how to use them to your advantage. Doing so increases your self-awareness and teaches you new ways to apply your strengths. It can help you understand your personality, values and motivators and recognize how they influence your behavior and decisions. By increasing your self-awareness, you can make better choices that align with your strengths so you can avoid situations that are not a good fit. You will have a better grasp of what makes you unique and how that impacts you, your team members, your boss, and your organization. Builds Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem Discovering and developing your strengths can boost your confidence and self-esteem and positively influence your professional and personal life. You need self-confidence and self-esteem to overcome challenges. Confidence and self-esteem don’t come from just one action; they persist despite bad moments. Just acknowledge that you make mistakes, and your increased self-confidence and self-esteem will help you bounce back faster. You’ll accept that you’ve done your best and can chalk it up to a learning opportunity. Improves Communication Skills Strength development allows you to understand yourself better, helping you set clear boundaries with others. Additionally, acquiring skills such as interpersonal and leadership helps you find ways to communicate effectively with others, allowing you to create seamless streams of communication so everyone remains on the same page. For example, in the workplace, effective communication handles conflicts better and strengthens organizational culture. This ensures business success and looks great to recruiters looking for work environments with high job satisfaction and employee engagement. When we improve our communication skills, our relationships become stronger and more meaningful, and our collaboration and teamwork become more efficient. We all have unique talents we use in different ways to bring out the best in ourselves and others. Development is the key to succeeding with our strengths. It is those “Aha!” moments we experience when exposed to new ways that allow us to understand and describe to others what makes us uniquely powerful. As long as we work, grow relationships, strategize, complete goals (big and small) and influence those around us, we will have the chance to deepen our awareness of our strengths. Here are four “Cs” that may help you discover and develop your strengths, taking you to the next level. First, be curious. Perhaps you think you are strong in one area, but you are unsure. This is where you need to discover which activities or projects interest you or that you might be good at. Research available resources and see what it would take to commit to developing your strengths. There are many online self-assessments available to help. Perhaps take a strength-finding assessment. This is an effective tool to help you learn about your talents and strengths. These types of assessments help determine your greatest talents and give you a detailed list of actions you can take to develop them. Once you identify your five top strengths, you can examine how they show up in your life. Another resource you can use to discover your unique talents, abilities and ways of thinking is getting a mentor. Leveraging the expertise of a mentor can help you determine how to take advantage of your strengths by integrating them into your ongoing discussions and goals. Second, be creative. Think outside the box. Each day, find a new way to use your strengths for your benefit, but do not overwhelm yourself by overanalyzing your behavior. For example, rather than trying to figure out what strengths you may have to match a particular organization, take the reverse approach and perhaps think about what organization most needs and then figure out how you might best contribute. This helps you focus on developing skills that are beneficial to the people around you, which is key to finding a career that is both meaningful and personally rewarding. Third, be confident. Confidence is one of your greatest strengths. When trying to improve yourself in any capacity, you have won half the battle if you believe you can accomplish almost anything. Self-confidence comes from knowing you have the ability to succeed. Without it, you will be less likely to try new things, seize opportunities, take risks, or go for the things you really want in life. Your struggle with your own mind is often greater than any other challenge you may face. You may have tough days when you are unsure of yourself, but you will build momentum as long as you get back on track quickly. The more tasks you complete, the more you can convince yourself that you are capable. Fourth, create a plan that focuses on developing your biggest strengths by setting goals. People are more successful when they set goals. Write down what you would like to accomplish and by what date you would like to accomplish it. Remember to be realistic and review your goals frequently to keep yourself on track. Post your goals in places where you will see them throughout the day (e.g., your refrigerator, bathroom mirror or computer monitor). This will keep you on track and motivate you to reach these goals quickly. If you have trouble creating a plan, reflect on ways you can apply your core strengths to help you in a potentially stressful situation. Final Thoughts Discovering your true strengths is the path toward improvement and success. When you pay attention only to your weaknesses and try to overcome them, you are placing emphasis on becoming what you are not. When you focus on your strengths, you are true to yourself by becoming more of who you really are. You cannot be anything and everything you wish you could be, but you can be the best of who you already are the real you.
0 The Power of Loving Your Job
Is it realistic to think we can wake up every morning saying, “MAN!! I cannot wait to get to the office and start this day!”? Probably not. Would it be cool if on Friday, we got a little bummed because we were going to be away from our job for 2 whole days! Away from this “work thing” that gives us so much joy, purpose, and validation? Probably so. Imagine all the benefits for our societal culture, our economy, our personal health, and the overall human condition if we loved every minute of every day at our jobs. Musicians or artists might feel that way, although I did once hear a performer complain that “…keeping a guitar in tune in the summer is so hard!” So even my “dream job” has its drawbacks, Iguess. For the record, her tuning grievance received very little empathy from the audience. It should come as no surprise to anyone who has some work experience that companies andorganizations that have higher job satisfaction in their workforce are more profitable and moreproductive than those that rate lower in this statistic. Also, individuals who have more jobsatisfaction tend to be healthier and have an overall happier personal life… duh! In researching this article, my team (okay, just me) found that statistics for this subject aresomewhat varied. However, digging deeper into the available data we (me) found someconsistencies.. Here are some things you might find interesting: A little more than half of the U.S. work force is “satisfied” with their job. Only about 20% are “passionate” about their job. Roughly 4 in 10 workers say their job is important to their overall identity. Relationships with coworkers was a big part of overall job satisfaction. About 12% of U.S. workers are “extremely” dissatisfied or unhappy with their job. Paid time off benefits were considered the best contribution to job satisfaction, whilehealth care benefits were considered the most important. Almost half (47%) of the workforce who have paid time off benefits said they did not use alltheir allotted paid time off. One study showed that 74% of employees in the U.S. believe that company culture is one ofthe biggest contributing factors to job satisfaction. And finally… Companies with high worker satisfaction outperform low satisfaction companiesby (as much as) 202% Most of the surveys stated that the statistics were consistent with government, non-profit, privatesector, and self-employed workers. In every study, workers aged 54 – 65 were the most satisfiedwith their jobs, and having just turned 64, this gave me a little validation… a small dopamineshot. But the same studies showed workers in their 20s were by and large the least satisfied.Since I have 2 children in their twenties, both freshly out of academia and in the workforce, thiscertainly gave me some pause. I firmly believe we all owe it to ourselves to put forth our best efforts toa t least find someenjoyment in our workday. We spend almost half of our waking life,o n the job, shouldn’t we tryand squeeze as much joy out of that time as we can? That enjoyment can come from manypossibilities; the comradery of our co-workers, the responsibility of an important project, thevalidation of doing things well, the personal reward of knowing your work has meaning, or ishelping others. Sometimes that enjoyment can lead to passion, and when your occupation, yourday job, becomes your passion, you can’t really call it work anymore. It becomes somethingbigger. Several years ago, I ran into a high school friend who I hadn’t seen in years. He was a guy Ialways looked up to; great social skills, hilarious sense of humor, and just a joy to be around. Asour conversation turned to the “what have you been up to” portion, I asked him, “Where are youworking these days?” His reply was something that has stuck with me since: “I don’t work, man.” “Really? Must be nice! How do you pay the bills?” I replied, being a bit nosey. “Oh, I have a job. I’m a flight attendant. I ame mployed by a small airline based in D.C.,but it doesn’t feel like work. The hours are crazy, and the days are brutally long, and I loveevery minute of it!” This was a revelation to my 20-something-year old brain, "...a nd I love every minute of it!" Thisguy was talking about his job, not his softball team or his golf league. His JOB! A job with longdays & crazy hours. For my friend, it was the social aspect of working with the high energy people in his peer group,working with the public and meeting new people every day. Traveling, and seeing the countrywith people he enjoyed being around, was his occupation. He found joy in that culture, and thatjoy became a passion. Up until that meeting, it hadn’t occurred to me that a job, one’s vocation, could be enjoyable. Ididn’t like my job at the time. In fact, the culture where I worked was such that not liking yourjob was kind of part of the job…the expectation. While I did not know this at the time, “culture” iseveryone’s responsibility. The chance meeting with my friend created something of an epiphany for me. I was working in awarehouse for a municipality at the time, and I shared the experience with my coworkers. It tooksome convincing and some inspired persuasion, but I talked the team into creating somethinglike a swear jar. But instead of depositing a quarter in a jar for bad words, we had to pay up percomplaint. Every gripe, every whine, every non-constructive utterance was accompanied by amonetary fine. We had fun with it, we charted it when we could; the first couple of months itadded up quickly. We used the money for an end of the month lunch or happy hour, but morethan anything we used the constant reminder of our bad attitudes to change the way weapproached the day. We were lucky in that there were 5 of us who all bought into the exercise. Wechanged the culture, simply because we were sick and tired of being sick and tired, 8 to 10 hoursa day, 5 or 6 days a week. We found a way to make the best of a situation, that really wasn’t as badas we were making it out to be. It was just a small change, and we all took accountability formaking the change. It can be done… and you can do it. While that was a great learning experience, the job still wasn’t what I thought would befulfilling in the long term. So, I searched for something more. It took a few years to find avocation that would become my passion, but I did. Early in my sales career, I read everybook I could find, attended every seminar, and took every workshop made available to me.None of that stuff felt like work, or “have to” tasks. I found it fascinating. Later in mycareer, largely based on the influence of my mentor, I found real joy in being a salestrainer and a leadership coach. Today, that’s where I find fulfillment when I’m on theclock. I love my job. In my mentoring work, I try to drive this home anytime I have the opportunity: There isreal power, and amazing mental and physical health benefits in enjoying your job. Intoday’s world, it’s NOT just forty hours a week. Consider your commute, consider the timethinking about it on the weekend, especially if you are dissatisfied. If you are not happy inyour job, first, look within. Decide as to whether you can fix it, or at least make it better. I’llbet you, with a little effort, you can. Choosing to make a change is half the battle!
0 January is National Mentoring Month….
And we hope you take it as an opportunity to spread the spirit! Mentors are not only the people you collaborate with in a formal mentoring program; mentors are everywhere! Each of us has met people along the way who have given us advice, assisted us with a work project, or even introduced us to influencers who made a difference in our careers. And chances are? You’ve been a mentor to a colleague… maybe without even realizing it. The positivity that goes hand-in-hand with mentoring has the power to impact not only individuals but an entire organizational culture. When information is shared between colleagues at different departmental levels, junior employees often feel better rooted in their purpose and develop a vision for where they’d like to go. Those with more seniority who are serving as mentors frequently tell us the act of giving back and absorbing new perspectives energizes their sense of direction while giving them a chance to pause and reflect on how far they’ve come. Here are some things you could do to celebrate your own mentoring experiences: Write a thank you note to someone who has been a mentor to you. Share examples of how their wisdom still resonates with you and your work today. Tell them how you try to pay it forward. Sign up to participate in a mentoring program. See if any informational sessions are coming up or ask your supervisor if they know of any programs that could be a good fit. If you’ve already been a mentee, consider being a mentor this time. You can do it! Get out there and mentor in your community. There are all kinds of groups that need coaches, Big Brothers/Sisters, tutors…. Consider sharing your passions with people outside of the office.
0 How to Remove the Ugh from Performance Reviews
It’s October! And October just might be the most glorious month of the year. Work is good, the outside air is becoming cooler, the leaves are displaying those beautiful autumn colors, and we’re “knee deep” in football season (even if you don’t like football, the snacks are great!!). But there is an ugh in the air, in the hallways, and around the virtual water cooler, because it’s also annual performance review time. Thus, the ugh. For some reason, even in the best of circumstances, nobody seems to like the task of performance reviews. Why? For the reviewer/manager/supervisor: It often creates uncomfortable conversations. In many cases they are not prepared. They scramble to find equal amounts of “positives” and “needs improvement” points. For the reviewee: Again… it often creates uncomfortable conversations. Sometimes… they wonder why they didn’t know about these things sooner. It can be difficult to respond to your manager on points where you disagree. We need to rewrite the script on Annual Performance Reviews! Why can’t we make this a positive experience? The first thing we need to do is remove the word “annual” from the title, or at least the process. When the “annual” is done, there should be no surprises, that alone could remove a lot of the anxiety and apprehension that comes with this process. As I did the research for this newsletter, I was pleasantly surprised to hear that many of the managers I interviewed agreed that this shouldn’t be a once-a-year discussion. When the labor market is as tight as it is today (The Bureau of Labor Statistics states that the national unemployment rate is 3.8%), good employees are difficult to find, and even harder to keep. Good, and frequent, job performance dialog and coaching are critical to maintaining a happy and productive work environment. I can tell you as a manager, employee retention has been the biggest challenge in the post pandemic world, and it effects all segments of the global workforce. There are all kinds of reasons people seek new employment. While many of those reasons can be out of our control, communication and feedback are 100% in everyone’s control. This applies to your staff, your manager, and your peers! The content or information in an Annual Performance Review should never be a surprise to the reviewee. Let’s look at some ways to take the ugh out!! Timing is Everything If there is an issue that needs to be addressed, the closer to the incident you can address it is (almost) always better. We don’t want feedback to be a surprise, so if there is an issue, the person getting feedback or coaching should be expecting it. In some situations, though, if there is an incident that is highly emotional, it is sometimes better to let everyone take a beat, or a breath. You will most likely deliver a more thoughtful message after emotions settle, and your recipient is more likely to hear what you have to say after they have calmed down. Make it Part of the Culture Feedback is a process that requires deliberate and constant attention. If it needs to be said, then say it. Then, your team will know where they stand, they will know what needs to be done to improve. In this culture, problems don’t get out of hand, or become bigger than they should. Consistency is the key. Be Specific Tell the person exactly what needs to be done to improve their performance. Mention only the facts, and try to avoid vague, or blanket type statements: Instead of: “You always forget to log the mileage charts and this creates extra work for everyone.” It's better stated like this: “Beauregard, you didn’t log the mileage charts yesterday. Now Rebecca will have to go to the motor pool, find the truck and record the mileage. We need to make sure that’s done moving forward. Okay? Try not to exaggerate to make a point. Avoid words like “never”, “always”, “all” and the like. They water down the point, or make it look bigger than it really is. Positives Count Too If feedback is part of the culture, swing that pendulum both ways! (I love the pendulum metaphor! It works in so many examples.) If we only notice, and comment on, the “needs improvement” aspects of the job, and the people we are managing, we’re going to create a lousy culture. If we are only coaching on the negatives, when review time comes, and the reviewee gets a bunch of positive feedback that comes as a surprise, they are likely to think, “Well that would have been nice to know!” High performance by your staff and your co-workers should be an expectation. When those lofty expectations are met, it should be noted… loudly. The ripple effects of this are amazing to the culture of a workplace. If Beauregard sees Rebecca getting constant praise for the outstanding work she’s doing, it might make him want to step up his game to get some of that kind of attention too. Always Remember While public praise is always appreciated, public criticism is not. I’ve written this in so many articles, I should probably make it my tag line: Praise loudly and publicly, criticize quietly, thoughtfully, and privately. Finally… The feedback highway runs both ways. You need to know how to give it effectively, and you need to know how to receive it constructively. If you’re not sure where you stand, or how you are doing, ask. Avoiding job performance dialog does not change facts, it only creates uncertainty. It’s in everyone’s best interest to keep those lines of communication open, active and consistent. When we avoid constructive critique or sweep issues that need some coaching under the rug, performance and productivity suffer. The issues don’t go away, the facts remain, and now we also have a lumpy rug. Equally, when we get too busy to deliver positive feedback, we run the risk of creating a joyless atmosphere… and a joyless atmosphere creates employee turnover. (Remember that 3.8% unemployment rate!!)
