Categories
0 January is National Mentoring Month….
And we hope you take it as an opportunity to spread the spirit! Mentors are not only the people you collaborate with in a formal mentoring program; mentors are everywhere! Each of us has met people along the way who have given us advice, assisted us with a work project, or even introduced us to influencers who made a difference in our careers. And chances are? You’ve been a mentor to a colleague… maybe without even realizing it. The positivity that goes hand-in-hand with mentoring has the power to impact not only individuals but an entire organizational culture. When information is shared between colleagues at different departmental levels, junior employees often feel better rooted in their purpose and develop a vision for where they’d like to go. Those with more seniority who are serving as mentors frequently tell us the act of giving back and absorbing new perspectives energizes their sense of direction while giving them a chance to pause and reflect on how far they’ve come. Here are some things you could do to celebrate your own mentoring experiences: Write a thank you note to someone who has been a mentor to you. Share examples of how their wisdom still resonates with you and your work today. Tell them how you try to pay it forward. Sign up to participate in a mentoring program. See if any informational sessions are coming up or ask your supervisor if they know of any programs that could be a good fit. If you’ve already been a mentee, consider being a mentor this time. You can do it! Get out there and mentor in your community. There are all kinds of groups that need coaches, Big Brothers/Sisters, tutors…. Consider sharing your passions with people outside of the office.
0 In the Spirit: The Many Gifts of Mentoring
As the year draws to a close, it is a time of joy, reflection, and memory-making—setting the perfect scene to squeeze in some mentoring magic. The holiday season brings with it a unique focus on both gratitude and promise, providing a great opportunity for mentoring partners to look back on the work they have done together so far while also considering how they might deepen their work, strengthen their connection, and make even more progress together. Set the stage for a successful partnership by embracing some of the many gifts of mentoring. Time. We know—it’s a busy time of year! But it’s also a meaningful time of year when many of us are in a state of mind conducive to reflecting on the past year and thinking positively about the next. If you can find even one hour to connect, give the gift of your time! Take a break from the hustle and bustle to spend some quality time with your mentoring partner. Whether it's a virtual meeting or a coffee date, partnerships can use this time to reflect on the progress made throughout the year and set goals for the upcoming one. Support for Navigating Challenges. For some people, this time of year is not all holiday cheer. In the same way that the season can amplify feelings of joy and hope, they can similarly magnify feelings of loneliness, grief, or fear. Mentees may be facing difficult circumstances or navigating emotional challenges in their professional or personal lives. Mentors can make things a little brighter simply by showing up and being attentive, supportive, and understanding. They can provide a safe space for their mentee to share their challenges or concerns while being actively listened to and cared about. Often, the relief that comes from this type of support is less about having your problems solved than being able to share them with someone you trust to help you navigate them. Reflection and Resolution. The end of the year really is the perfect time for mentors and mentees to share reflections on what they’ve accomplished and what they’ve learned together during the past year. Honest introspection and evaluation can help partnerships consider what tweaks they could make in the new year to foster even more success. And what better time to finetune goals than on the eve of a new year full of fresh possibility and opportunity. A conversation like this can provide a renewed sense of direction and purpose and reenergize the partnership. Professional Development Opportunities. While you’re already thinking and looking ahead, dive into ideas for professional development opportunities. As mentoring pairs revisit mentoring goals and refine their plans for their partnership and beyond, it’s a great opportunity to think about ways mentees can enhance their skills and acquire new ones to prepare for future roles. They can identify targeted training, valuable resources, or collaborative projects that will help the mentee take actionable steps toward their professional objectives. Networking Opportunities. Seasonal engagements like holiday gatherings or festive events can be a great opportunity to facilitate introductions with professional contact who can help mentees reach their goals, present or future. And even if mentors don’t necessarily have an event to invite their mentee to, they can still offer to help their mentee prepare for networking opportunities of their own, such as an office party. Reach out to share effective networking strategies and help them calm any nerves. Gratitude. There is never a wrong time of year to give the gift of gratitude. That said, mentors and mentees alike can tap into the thankful spirit of the season and express their heartfelt thanks for their partner’s time and efforts and the growth and progress they have achieved together. This mutual appreciation does more than warm the heart—it strengthens the partnership and reinforces the dual commitment to ensuring it is impactful for both partners.
Whew! We’ve made it! To the midpoint of the year, I mean. This is a good time to check in on yourself to see how you’re doing with the goals in your performance plan and any personal improvements you set when making resolutions six months ago. In this newsletter, we want to give you some strategies for a mid-year professional check-in including evaluating where you’ve been, letting the right people know of your achievements, and setting yourself up for a successful second half of the year. Conduct your own mid-year performance check-in Set aside time to brainstorm the milestones you’ve met this year. Consider writing a formatted list to help you visualize where you’ve achieved the most milestones and what areas need more focus for the remainder of the year. Here is a sample: Connect your achievements to your goals Look at the formal goals you set for this year in your annual performance plan. What were the measurable components of the plan you set? How do the achievements you’ve made this year line up with those objectives? Follow these steps: Review your goals: Assess which has been achieved, what is still in progress, and which might require adjustment. Consider how they align with your current job priorities. Specifically address progress: If you haven’t already, break your goals down into smaller bites so that you can attach achievements to them. See if you can correlate a milestone to each goal in your plan. Identify obstacles: Is there anything getting in your way? Consider time restraints, lack of resources, and know that recognizing them will help you determine what other support might be needed and ask for it. Now that you have a full picture, tell your supervisor about your progress If your organization does not have a formalized process for a mid-year performance review put a meeting on your supervisor’s calendar to do it on your own. This is your opportunity to let your manager know how well you’re doing, ask if you’re on the right track, and garner advice for positioning yourself for success in the second half of the year. When speaking to your manager you might: make a list of your specific contributions over the past 6 months. highlight any training or mentoring you’ve had. offer a specific anecdote for how you handled a challenging situation. Ask for feedback Ask for feedback on your current progress and what you could do better moving forward. Let your manager know how motivating their guidance is for you. Are there areas where they’ve seen specific improvement? What about areas that could still use a little work? Essentially, “Do I need to change anything to achieve my goal?” Decide what you want to do next Pick a few wins that you’d like to be able to say you made by the end of 2023: What skills would you like to have by the time of your next review? What new responsibilities do you want to take on? Do you have a sense of where you’d like to be three years from now? Do you need to shift your goals? If so, what needs shifting? Ask a mentor: How do you stay on top of your career goals throughout the year? Do you meet with your manager midway through the year? Do you initiate conversations with key leaders to let them know of your goal progress and recent wins?
0 Springing Forward: Moving Toward Possibility
Spring is in the air, and with it, a sense of new possibilities. The scene is perfectly set for mentoring partnerships to narrow in on how the mentoree can grow and prepare for future opportunities. Pairs can revisit the mentoree’s long-term professional ambitions and delve into the skills, experiences, networking, and planning that can help them get there. Skills. What technical skills will the mentoree need to develop or hone to be competitive as they advance in their careers? Identifying educational requirements, professional training, or development opportunities the mentoree can build into their plan will set them on the right path and provide a roadmap to the future. Beyond technical skills specific to a certain field, mentorees can also work to build transferable skills that are not specific to a single job but can be adapted in different roles. For example, an employee’s communication skills can be a huge help or a huge hindrance. These skills are used constantly in most workplaces and strongly impact how an employee and their work is perceived. Does the mentoree speak effectively and write well? How do they fare at influencing, negotiating, and persuading others? Are they comfortable listening and providing feedback? How confident are they delivering presentations or providing training to others? Considering the position the mentoree hopes to achieve, identify other skills they will need to be competitive for and successful in that role, such as leadership, project management, or planning and research. Experiences. Experience is an important but tricky thing, especially for those early in their career. As many graduating college students lament, you need a job to gain experience, but often struggle to land a job without experience. While those already in the workforce don’t face quite the same predicament, it can be challenging to compete for advanced positions without the experience those positions would provide. However, mentorees can proactively seek opportunities now to build experience they will need later. To gain technical experience, they could ask to assist with organizational projects or working groups, arrange a recurring shadowing opportunity that would expose them to a certain process or operation, or identify an external volunteer opportunity that would provide relevant experience. For example, if a mentoree needs project management experience and isn’t able to identify an opportunity at work, they could seek out a community volunteer opportunity that would allow them to lead and manage a project, not only gaining that experience but learning dos and don’ts they can carry forward to future professional projects. Networking. Regardless of a mentoree’s professional field or objectives, building a strong network is one of the most important things they can do. Networking is more than collecting business cards from everyone they meet—employees can develop strategic business relationships with people at all levels and positions in the organization. Who could potentially help them gain experience, visibility, or credibility? Developing a targeted list of potential connections and designating time to network with them could be instrumental in laying the path for mentorees to move forward in the future. Many organizations have committees, working groups, or extracurricular opportunities, like Toastmasters. Mentorees should familiarize with opportunities in their agency to get outside their team and interact. And if the opportunity to connect with a key contact isn’t available through those means, reaching out to request situational mentoring is a great way to start a professional relationship! Planning. The bulk of career planning involves the mentoree preparing for their next role. And it begins with understanding realistic career path timelines that will help them to backward-plan and ensure they hit milestones along the way. Looking at the average career advancement in a given field, mentorees can assess how much time they have to gain the skills, experience, and networking connections they will need to help assure their continued progress. From there, it’s a matter of identifying opportunities to achieve the necessary growth in each of those areas and getting to work! It’s never to early to start thinking, planning, and acting ahead. Ask a Mentor Here are some questions mentoring pairs can discuss to ensure a well-rounded mentoring experience. Discuss the roles the mentoree would like to hold in 5 years, 10 years, and the position they ultimately hope to reach. How long, realistically, does it take to achieve those roles? What technical and transferable skills will they need to build along the path to each of those three roles? What are some ways the mentor has honed those skills? What specific experience will they need to acquire to compete for those roles? How has the mentor gained needed experience they weren’t able to get directly in their role? What are some strategic connections the mentoree should develop? How might the mentoree go about networking with those individuals? Does the mentoree have a long-term career plan? Does it incorporate steps to gain the skills, experience, and connections that will help them move forward?
0 Tips for Making the Most of your Mentoring Experience
Mentoring can be a career- and life-changing experience...or it can feel like a bit of a let-down. So, what makes the difference? We asked mentees who have participated in formal mentoring programs to share their advice for how to make the most of mentoring and ensure that, not only is it time well spent, but that the investment pays off for years to come. Below are some of the tips they shared along with some ideas for how to apply them. You get out of it what you put into it. Perhaps it should go without saying, but you have to invest the effort if you want to see results. Most people who sign up for mentoring are hoping to improve or advance in some way, so it makes sense to bring your best self to the experience. Come to the mentoring program committed and willing to work and dedicate time, energy, and focus to mentoring. From there, it’s a matter of being involved. Aside from the opportunity to connect with a formal mentor (and perhaps a situational mentor, too), the mentoring program offers trainings, events, tools, and resources—take advantage of as many as you can. Attend the group events and engage fully with others in the cohort. Navigate The Mentoring Connection to mine the on-line resources of newsletters, discussion guides, and other valuable resources. Act on recommendations from your mentor and follow up through on the goals you set for yourself. Take the lead. One of the biggest mistakes a mentee can make is to sit back and wait to be mentored. The mentoring program is designed to be mentee-driven, so take those reins! Schedule meetings, reach out often, identify discussion topics for mentoring meetings and come prepared with questions or specific challenges to discuss. Be clear about what you’re hoping to gain from the program and how you hope your mentor can help. Moreover, if you want your mentor to do something differently, tell them! Mentees sometimes wait until they are taking a survey at the mid-point or the end of the program to talk about the things they would have liked to do differently in their mentoring partnership. Be proactive and assertive in communicating your mentoring needs. Make connections. Among the greatest strengths of a mentoring program is its ability to connect employees from across an organization who probably would not normally cross paths or interact. Mentoring programs are full of opportunities to expand your professional network, from building rapport with your mentor and seeking out situational mentors to participating in breakout groups at formal trainings, volunteering for groups or activities as part of your mentoring work or attending program mixers or lunch-and-learn sessions. Make time to engage in these opportunities, and don’t be afraid to suggest and/or volunteer to organize an event. Mentoring programs offer a great way to meet people from other parts of your agency and connect right away over the shared focus of mentoring. Be open, be honest. Mentoring work requires openness and honesty from both parties. Having an open mind, being open to feedback, and openly sharing your goals, challenges, questions, and concerns is key to receiving honest and helpful feedback and advice from your mentor. Don’t be afraid to open up to your mentor—the better they get to know you, the more they learn about you, the more they can help. Equally as important to being open and honest with your partner, however, is being open and honest with yourself. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Professional growth happens when we learn how to capitalize on our strengths and take steps to grow in those areas of opportunity. Be willing to look within—or perhaps even ask for feedback from others—to identify where you are strong and where you have room to grow. Talk to your supervisor. Supervisors can make a huge difference in your mentoring experience—but only if they know what you’re doing. Achieving career goals or working through professional challenges generally requires building and honing specific technical or interpersonal skills. Mentees can talk with their supervisors about the skills they’re building even if they don’t feel comfortable sharing their overarching goals or challenges. Sharing some aspect of your program work is important because it enables supervisors to recognize opportunities that may help you apply those skills on the job, share ideas and insights, and observe your gains and successes. Apply what you’re learning. Applying what you’ve learned and practicing new technical and interpersonal skills on the job is beneficial for several reasons. For one, it helps cement new skills and allows the mentee to tailor what they’ve learned to be relevant and useful in their current role. However, it also demonstrates a willingness to learn and a commitment to professional growth and development, showing supervisors that the mentee has the initiative, drive, and discipline to lead themselves and others. Ask a Mentor Here are some questions mentoring pairs can discuss to ensure a well-rounded mentoring experience. Where do you think I could invest more effort to achieve greater gains and success? How could I be more proactive to take the lead in our partnership? What opportunities are available to make new connections and expand my network? What are some ways I could loop my supervisor into the process to give them visibility and seek their feedback? How can I apply what I’m working on in the program to my current role?
0 Getting Into Focus: Clarifying the Mentee’s Goals
When asked to share what they gained from a mentoring experience, mentees often point to the clarity they gained on their career path and, most importantly, their goals. Establishing the mentee’s goals should be among the first steps in any mentoring partnership, and the importance of this step cannot be overstated. After all, as Emmy award winning designer and Chief Executive Officer Chris Do says, “Clear goals, clear results. Fuzzy goals, fuzzy results.” Mentoring without established goals is like driving without directions. In the best-case scenario, the mentoring partners might enjoy the ride, but they likely won’t arrive at either partner’s intended destination. Worst-case scenario, they’ll wander aimlessly without purpose, growing anxious and frustrated, squandering the opportunity for an impactful experience, and perhaps even feeling that mentoring is burdensome in their already overloaded schedules. Having a clear understanding of what the mentee hopes to get from the mentor and from their mentoring experience is critical to setting off in the right direction and staying on course. Here are some things mentoring pairs can do to clarify the mentee’s goals and lay the foundation for well-managed expectations, targeted mentoring work, and, ultimately, a successful partnership. Define the mentee’s priorities. Early mentoring discussions should include asking the mentee to explain what is most important to them—not just where they see themselves in five years, but why. Some mentees may not have a vision for their future but may easily be able to list the things that matter most to them, such as having flexibility and work-life balance, feeling like they are making an important contribution to their work, or earning a certain salary range. Others, meanwhile, may rattle off a list of goals but may struggle to explain how those align with their priorities. They may think they know what they want only to discover they are responding to the priorities other people have set for them rather than priorities they’ve set for themselves. Regardless of where the mentee is, a mentor can help them dig deeper into what truly drives them by asking them to name their values; write down what they would like to maintain, improve, and change in their work and personal lives; define their strengths and what energizes them; make a “to don’t” list that helps them clarify what they don’t want (which is also important to understand); or apply the Toyota “5 Whys” process to their stated goals or priorities to understand the root driver beneath them. Refine the mentee’s goals to align with their priorities. One of a mentor’s key roles is to help their mentee confirm that they are moving in the right professional direction. Once the mentor understands the values that motivate the mentee, they can help set or refine goals that align with those priorities. For example, a mentee may have come to the partnership with the goal of achieving a position that seemed like an obvious end-goal but discovered through early mentoring conversations about their drivers that the tasks and responsibilities of that job don’t match their values, strengths, or passions. Once the partners confirm that the mentee’s goals align with their priorities, they should also confirm that the goals align with reality—does the mentee really have the time and resources to meet the goal? Are they willing to sacrifice the time and effort required to achieve it? Would that sacrifice be worth it to them? What are the benchmarks for success? Realistic timelines? Outline specific steps to achieving the mentee’s goals. By this point, the mentee should have a clear (or at least clearer) picture of what is important to them and goals that reflect what matters most. Now it’s time to map out the path to success. Mentoring pairs can define actionable steps to achieving each stated goal. Here again, the mentor plays an important role. In the first two steps, the mentor has primarily asked thought-provoking questions designed to help the mentee arrive at their own conclusions. When it comes to career-mapping, however, mentors can offer insights and advice that the mentee may not have considered or known on their own. Mentors can help the mentee break their goals down into smaller “sub-goals,” lay out a checklist and schedule for achieving them and prepare for the pitfalls and challenges they are likely to encounter. Identify mentoring activities geared toward the mentee’s goals. Now that the mentee and the mentor both have a clear picture of the mentee’s priorities, short- and long-term goals, and their plan to achieve them, it will be much easier to identify how the mentor can help. With the end in mind, the partnership can focus on a mentoring strategy or action plan. For example, establishing strategic connections, taking on stretch assignments or applying for opportunities that will help them start building the experience they’ll need. This is also a great time to identify a situational mentor to set up a shadowing experience or work on a specific skill or project.
0 The Power of Paying it Forward
Most of us can look back on our careers and think of at least one person who took the time and energy to provide mentorship, guidance, and a listening ear. And when we think back on those mentors, we likely don’t reflect on the projects they led or the awards they won, but rather the difference they made in our lives, both as professionals and as people. Mentoring is usually a powerful and lasting experience for both the mentoree and the mentor, but mentoring is bigger than two people and the finite period of time they work together. It has the potential to become a legacy—a legacy of people investing in people and paying forward the investment that others have made in them. Each of us is part of a larger team, group, and community, and we all—mentorees and mentors alike—have the opportunity to take what we learn from each other and amplify it. When we remember the times, we have been helped, it can motivate us to help find ways to help others and enhance their lives in ways big and small, creating a powerful butterfly effect in which helping one person indirectly helps dozens, maybe even hundreds, of others. So, what does paying it forward look like, and how can anyone from a fresh out of college new hire to the seasoned veteran nearing retirement carry on the mentoring legacy? Here are some ideas. Seek and apply advice—and tell the advisor how it went. People love to give advice, and it’s even better when someone asks for it. This may seem like a small thing, but in day-to-day life, many of us are less likely to seek others’ advice compared to when we are in a mentoring environment. Looking for opportunities to ask others for feedback or guidance will not only benefit you but will signal to them that you recognize their knowledge and experience and value their opinion. Even better, try their advice and follow up to let them know how it went. Not only will you make them feel appreciated, you might inspire them to do the same. Thank your mentor. Mentors are hard-working heroes. On top of their day jobs, personal commitments, and challenges of their own, they make time to mentor and develop employees who often do not even work for them or directly impact their day-to-day work. They are motivated solely by the desire to help someone else by sharing what they’ve learned. Say thank you often and show your appreciation by communicating the difference your mentor has made in your life. This simple act will show them the powerful impact they have and inspire them to continue mentoring and influencing others. Share what you’ve learned. One of the great things about mentoring is that it is a tailored, individual experience, which means that everyone is going to learn something different. Don’t keep that knowledge to yourself! Look for opportunities to pay it forward by sharing what you’ve learned in your mentoring work, whether it’s passing on your mentor’s helpful tips to a friend or colleague facing similar challenges, giving your team a class on a program you gained proficiency in, or maybe just openly practicing your new skills in your day-to-day job to help make your team more successful. Chances are, if something you learned from your mentor helped you, it will probably help someone else, too. Be generous with your gains and look for ways to share them with others. Mentor someone else. For mentorees in a formal mentoring relationship, this is an obvious next step and one they feel confident taking. For others, it may seem far-fetched. But the truth is, even if you are brand new to the workforce or your agency, even if you’ve never been a supervisor, even if you are not yet an expert in your field, there is a mentor in all of us. Seasoned employees can help guide the next generation of leaders; meanwhile, junior employees who are still getting their footing in their careers, can find plenty of opportunities to mentor someone else through community programs and other opportunities outside of work. We all have something to offer and something to teach.
0 Redirecting a Mentoring Relationship
As with any relationship, from time to time, mentoring partnerships can snag, stagnate, or outright stall. Changes in schedule, workload, or circumstances can make it difficult to connect. Or partners may find that they underestimated what would be required as a mentor or a mentee and feel overwhelmed. Other times, pairs find that their personalities or communication styles just don’t seem to mesh. Whatever the reason, most partnerships can course-correct if both parties are willing to work together. Below are some simple steps that can help a struggling partnership get back on track. Look in the mirror. Before you give up on your partner or call them out for what you think they could do better, pause to reflect on how you have shown up in the relationship. Are you proactive and engaged? Are you open and candid, and do you clearly communicate your needs and expectations? Just as important, are those expectations realistic? Unrealistic expectations on either side of a partnership can be detrimental. For mentors, unrealistic expectations can lead to overloading the mentee with suggestions and information, pushing them to take on more than they can realistically manage, or pressuring them to make decisions the mentor thinks are best. Likewise, a mentee who expects the mentor to steer the mentoring experience or provide more support than is reasonable can also hinder the relationship. And perhaps the most unrealistic expectation of all for either partner is assuming that the other half of their mentoring pair would (or should) sense they are unhappy and understand why. Acknowledge the issues openly. For most pairs, the mentoring experience can easily and effectively be “fixed” simply by addressing the issue. If there is something your partner is or isn’t doing that is frustrating you, the most important thing you can do is talk to them about it. They may have no idea that something is amiss, or if they do, they may not be able to pinpoint the problem. Either way, if you don’t clearly communicate what you would like to change, your partner will not have the opportunity to correct it and you will likely continue to feel frustrated or, worse, resentful. While the thought of having such a conversation with your partner might seem intimidating, take a step back and look at it as a chance to practice engaging in a difficult conversation. If nothing else, carefully plan out what you would like to say, including specific examples of what you would like to change and ideas for a way forward. Schedule a time to speak (not e-mail) with your partner when you will have adequate time, energy, and attention to fully discuss the matter. Go back to the Mentoring Agreement. A great place to start in recalibrating the way you and your partner work together is the Mentoring Agreement, which documents the goals and expectations that you set at the beginning of your partnership. Identify areas you can adjust or revise if the initial plan is not meeting your needs. Revisit the mentee’s stated goals, needs, and aspirations. Identify what progress has been made, and list out clear, actionable steps that each party can take to push further toward those goals. For example, if the mentee hoped to increase their network, the mentor might share a list of potential situational mentors the mentee could reach out to, invite the mentee to attend a business meeting, or share details for networking events in the area that the mentee might find useful. Meanwhile, the mentee could ask the mentor to help them plan and/or practice what they would say in an interview meeting, facilitate an introduction with a potential situational mentor, or read and discuss a book on networking as part of their mentoring activities. Outlining steps that each partner can take and ensuring that these steps are specific, clear, and achievable could plot the roadmap for partnership success. Revisit the DISC assessment. While you are revisiting documents, set aside time to refresh on the DISC assessment results you each received at the beginning of the program. Even if you get along great, brushing up on each other’s DISC styles can be a helpful reminder of how your partner functions at their best and in times of stress and how best and most effectively to communicate with them. Check in and reevaluate. Once you’ve had that initial difficult conversation to identify the issues you would like to address, be intentional about checking in with your partner to gauge whether the adjustments you’ve made have been effective for both parties and make additional tweaks as necessary. Reach out to the Mentoring Program Coordinator. Sometimes, partners may need some outside assistance to get back on track, and in rare instances, it may be clear to both parties that their partnership will not work out for reasons such as a lack of commitment from one of the partners, serious personality conflicts, or a breach of trust or confidentiality. In such instances, one or both partners should reach out to the Mentoring Program Coordinator to either seek their assistance in helping the pair reconnect or, if there is no hope that the match can work, determine the best course of action for both partners.
0 Becoming a more effective mentoree
What does it take to be an effective mentoree? Yes, you read that right. This article is about the work of being mentored. Being mentored sounds passive, but effective mentorees aren’t waiting to be transformed. They are actively engaged and working in their mentoring experience. Mentorees will often hear that they should “drive the mentoring relationship.” Taking initiative, being prepared, acting on suggestions, and following up are obvious ways to take the wheel. However, there are more subtle behaviors that can make a mentoree more effective in their mentoring work. Below are some ways to take your mentoree role to the next level. Know your “why.” Many mentorees come to the mentoring relationships with a list of short- and long-term goals to work toward but may have spent less time evaluating their underlying motives. Improving your communications skills is a specific, achievable goal, but understanding what you hope to gain from doing so creates a different level of intention and opportunity for growth. Do you want to become a better communicator because you hope to become more persuasive, expand your influence, form connections, or strengthen relationships? If you are still unsure what you would like to accomplish in the mentoring program, take a moment to envision where (or who) you would like to be in three to five years. Ask yourself what it is about that future version of yourself that appeals to you—are you more successful, more confident, more influential? Understanding what is driving you will help you figure out what to focus on and how to steer your mentoring experience. Communicate your needs. Once you pinpoint your underlying drivers, the next step is to communicate them clearly to your mentor. Be specific about what you want to achieve and how you would like your mentor to help. If all you know is that you want to be more successful or feel more accomplished, don’t be afraid to ask your mentor to help you figure out what that means and where to start. Establishing what you hope to gain provides a starting point to help you and your mentor chart different potential paths. The more you clarify your goals and communicate your needs, the more effective your mentor (and you) can be. Ask questions. Effective mentorees ask questions—and thoughtfully consider the answers. Ask your mentor questions about business processes or skills you want to master, challenges you want to overcome, experiences you want to gain. Ask them questions even when the answer seems obvious or when you already have an idea or set view of things. Asking questions opens the door for new ideas and perspectives, which is a good thing when you are looking to develop and grow. The mentoring relationship provides a safe space. Take advantage of that open forum and unfettered access to the views of a seasoned, experienced mentor. Welcome and accept feedback. Being an effective recipient of feedback is key to being an effective mentoree. In fact, the ability to receive—and actively seek—feedback is key to being successful in any role. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to accept feedback that is less than a raving endorsement of how we would like others to see us. Even when we ask for it, constructive criticism can generate internal resistance that leads us to push the feedback away. In their book “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well,” authors Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen urge readers to focus on cultivating a “pull attitude” toward feedback. They write, “Creating pull is about mastering the skills required to drive our own learning; it’s about how to recognize and manage our resistance, how to engage in feedback conversations with confidence and curiosity….” Ask for your mentor’s feedback and be ready to consider it fully—what makes sense about it, what seems worth trying, what might they be right about, how could you apply it? If you struggle to accept feedback despite your best efforts, this may be an important area to focus on during the program. “Thanks for the Feedback” and other books on the topic can be a great starting point for mentoring conversations and work around this crucial skill. Be grateful. Countless studies have shown that gratitude can change our brains, our lives, and our very selves. Showing appreciation can lead to deeper connections, increase prosocial behavior, improve self-esteem, and enhance mental strength. These gains align with successful, effective mentoring. We all have the capacity to cultivate gratitude and focus on what we already have, not just what we are striving for. Be grateful for your mentor’s time, advice, feedback, and suggestions. Be grateful for stretch assignments and networking opportunities. Be grateful for mistakes that enable learning, challenges that facilitate growth, and the achievement of goals, big and small. In each mentoring activity, look for opportunities to feel gratitude and express appreciation.
0 WISE @ UCF Mentoring Program
Kathy Wentworth Drahosz traveled to Orlando this week to kick off a formal mentoring training session for the University of Central Florida’s (UCF) Women in Science and Engineering (WISE) Mentoring Program! The WISE mentoring program matches successful professional women in STEM related positions with young women in their sophomore and/or junior year at UCF. Due to the pandemic, last year’s program was all virtual, this year we were able to facilitate a hybrid program (both live and virtual). “The use of technology has been a game changer the past 18 months”, comments Drahosz, “partnerships who may not have had an opportunity to meet face to face, were able to enjoy connecting through Zoom. Mentors from government and industry (Johnson and Johnson, Duke Energy, Blue Origin, Naval Air Warfare Center, Lockheed Martin, and more) signed up to help the students this year. The sophomore and junior year can be challenging for some students. “It’s always wonderful to see our industry and government partners take such interest in growing our future STEM women leaders”, said Melissa Dagley, Executive Director, Initiatives in STEM.
