BLOG

It’s funny, when I approach people to be mentors in my mentorship program, the most common response I get is: “What? Me!? You have to be kidding? What do I have to offer?”

And because of who I am, I’ll often reply with only a blank stare, waiting quietly for them to finish.

Eventually, however, most of them arrive at something like: “...but if you really think someone would want me, I guess I’ll do it.”

Their initial surprise feels normal now. I think I get it.

Often, we don’t see ourselves as mentor material.

Mentors are people we think of as creating a profound impact on our lives. Mentors are powerful! Mentors are accomplished! Mentors know the right way because they’ve already been there and done that!

If those were the proverbial shoes someone was asking me to fill, I, too, would look around the room in confusion and disbelief. Surely, there’s a former Olympian-turned-startup founder-turned-philanthropist-turned-bestselling author behind me--not me,” I would think.

I want to challenge that notion that mentors must be somehow extraordinary. It’s precisely the ordinary in each of us that makes us perfect to be mentors.

In my eyes, that reluctance that people feel in this moment doesn’t speak to their inadequacy, but rather to their humility, depth, and the importance they place on mentorship–all of which are excellent qualities in a life-changing mentor.

The Only Thing You Need

What if I told you that the only thing you need to be in order to be a life-changing mentor is to simply be you?

Yep. You. 

That you you are right now, in this very moment. Not just the you you’ll be 10 years from now. (And yes, that future you counts too!)

This is especially true if the you that you are right now is a “normal” person–someone who works a normal job, lives in a normal house, and has a family with all the joys and flaws that come with it.  If you feel like you’re someone who’s “not ‘there’ yet” or “hasn’t done anything that extraordinary,” you’re exactly the type of person who is an excellent mentor in the making.

Listen: I’m sure that startup founder or Olympian has some incredible stories and probably could also be an awesome mentor. However…

Being a fantastic mentor isn’t about having all the experience or knowing the hidden pathway to success.

It’s about the desire to connect, support, and to take an active interest in another person and their journey.

I’d like to share my own experience in this regard: My mentor and I connected when I first was planning to strike out on my own as a coach. I was new to the profession, unemployed, and worried about whether or not I was making the right move or if I’d need to go back to the corporate world again.

My mentor, is a very successful entrepreneur and business owner who was willing to meet with me and share her wisdom, knowing I wanted to walk a similar path, albeit in a slightly different field.

As we met and developed our connection and relationship, she had ample experience, insights, and support to share with me. And truth be told, I wasn’t ready yet to hear and internalize what she had to share.

I ended up going back into the corporate world several months later, still hoping to keep my vision of my own business alive… maybe at a later date.

I truly felt like I had failed at that moment. I expected my mentor to see this shift in my path as a failure too--maybe even think that I hadn’t been dedicated enough or wasted her time.

But she never gave up on me. We continued to meet. She continued to give generously of her time and insights. She stayed with me as I worked my process… in my own way.

Her patience and kindness were what really allowed me to change my view of myself. That steady support--someone saying “You’ll get there when you’re ready” -- made all the difference. It wasn’t a grand gesture that shifted my sense of failure; it was knowing that someone else believed in me and held FIRM to that belief, even when I was filled with self-doubt. She was simply being the caring, supportive person she is.

We’ve been working together as mentor and mentee for years, and reflecting on my progress, she recently said to me, “You weren’t quite ready for it before–and now you’re totally different. You’re really ready now. You’re really on your way.”

It felt like the highest compliment–truly–having someone believe in me even when I didn’t believe in myself, and to have them see and acknowledge my growth. It’s a game-changer.

Less Knowing, More Being

My mentor never had to know whether I was on the right or wrong path--she was simply there for me while I figured it out. 

The real magic of being a mentor isn’t in knowing the right answers, but in being the right person:

• Being with someone along their journey without trying to change them or persuade them one way or another…

• Being their cheerleader-- someone who sees and celebrates the successes they may be glancing past…

• Being the one who sees the bigger vision of what’s possible for them when they can’t quite see it within themselves…

These are the moments when the most ordinary among us can create miraculous change in another person--by simply believing in them wholeheartedly.

Being a “normal” person in their corner, rooting for them, can make all the difference in the world. (You might be surprised how few people feel like they have a person like that in their lives.)

We already have plenty of vaunted, aspirational figures in the world. Rather than trying to be the all-knowing, shining figure on the hill, be the person willing to walk the path with them--wherever it leads.

What if you, being you, could make all the difference for someone else? What unique qualities do you already possess that make you the perfect mentor--right now?